Listening, Learning to See, Finding a Voice
“When I was young enough to still spend a long time buttoning my shoes in the morning, I’d listen toward the hall: Daddy upstairs was shaving in the bathroom and Mother downstairs was frying the bacon. They would begin whistling back and forth to each other up and down the…
Depression
Life is often challenging and at times seems particularly overwhelming. Circumstances such as financial strain, job stress, disappointment or loss in close relationships can lead to discouragement. When anxiety and hopelessness begin to paralyze you, driving you inward and compromising your capacity to attend to responsibilities and relationships, it is…
Counseling and Wisdom
As far as helping methods go it is easier to sell so-called expertise, methods, and quick fixes. We tend to want ready answers, thus cookie-cutter wisdom, but wisdom cannot be packaged. It is not wooden or simplistic. More often than not real change requires significant shifts in perspective and motivation;…
What Makes for Real Communication?
When couples come to my office for the first time and describe what is wrong in their relationship they often identify the problem as one of communication. I recognize this as an attempt to explain the distance, tension, and frustration they experience in their marriage. I can often assume their…
Why Theology?
For many, the connection between counseling and theology is not clear. Our tendency is to look to the field of psychology for answers to personal problems and to look to the Bible for answers to spiritual questions. But in fact theology, properly understood, is intensely personal. It should not be…
What to Look for in a Counselor
Every Christian counselor should have training and experience. Perhaps that is obvious. What is not so obvious is that those qualifications alone do not ensure a rich understanding of people. Oftentimes a narrow, clinical focus can limit a counselor’s ability to see people as people. That can cause them to…
When to Get Help
You may not have a choice as to whether problems come your way, but you can choose to handle them constructively. Acknowledging the problem is the first step. You may find yourself discouraged, confused, or persistently unhappy. You may be concerned about the health of a relationship, be it your…