Marriage is a gift from God and as such is inherently good–even when we don’t do it so well. It is good because it originates in the goodness of God.
That is important to remember when we find ourselves disappointed and prone to being critical, distant, and withholding. When this happens we have fallen prey to the notion that love is only something we experience, something that happens to us. We think of it passively as though it were a condition. It is better to understand love as an attitude. Love is an attitude rather than a passive affect.
I don’t mean this in a rose-colored-glasses sort of way, which denies disappointment. I mean it rather in terms of a commitment to give your best for another even in the face of disappointment.
Loving in this way can transform a relationship. But the transformation begins with you.